Perhaps while at Gustavus, I didn’t feel I was contributing directly to society (though I’m sure I was in some way, simply by my interactions with people), but I learned important skills in how to contribute to society. That being said, I have found many of the skills I gained and honed at Gustavus have anti-helped me here! After my years at Gustavus, I’ve gotten used to being responsible, prompt, sure to know what is going on, articulate, and personable. Here in Slovakia, I am consistantly early to things, but everyone else strolls in right on time or late; I never know what is going on and no one can tell me because a) they don’t understand what I am asking, or b) they’re not sure themselves; I obviously can’t articulate beyond my basic needs in Slovak (yet), but even when speaking to someone who knows English, I have to simplify it a bit because many of the sentences I would normally speak are too complex; where I usually know just what to say in a situation in America, here I often stare stupidly, trying to quickly think of the words I want in Slovak. But beyond these practical things, the perspective I gained during my time at Gustavus has been important as I try to find my place in this new culture and situation.
I always had the plan of doing a year of service after college, but I still totally appreciate the questions surrounding that idea. I struggled a lot with why or why not I wanted to go abroad to serve. Was it for selfish reasons? Oughtn’t I help the people in my own *extended * neighborhood? We obviously know the choice made there, and although there have been plenty of chances to question that (watching the devistation of New Orleans on television, experiencing regular and sometimes extreme homesickness, and the ever-returning feeling that I’m not really needed here, to name a few), I maintain faith that I am in the right place because of everything I am learning and/or realizing here that I wouldn’t have elsewhere. And you know, it seems it’s in all the lowest places (when I’m most upset) that God reveals Godself and these things to me. So that’s what keeps me knowing I’m in the right place. I need this year to learn about myself and how I/how to deal with the world. No way could I have jumped right into grad school or a job right out of GAC. …Reading over what I just wrote, I see a lot of “I”s, and I think, “Is this all about you, Johanna?” But no, I realize it is only about me in that it is preparing me for further service throughout my life, not just this year. I’m not in some sort of year-long vacuum or something. The perspective gained (and used) is the real service opportunity …
Speaking of not being ready to do grad school or a job right out of Gustavus, here’s a funny twist of fate: I had thought of being a teacher, and particularly a music teacher at one point, but was sort of feeling like I was heading more down the path of being a pastor or some sort of scholar of religion. I had almost given up on the idea of being a music teacher, putting it way in the back of my mind as something I would simply consider, but not consider seriously. So I graduated and did this faith-based service thing, thinking this would be hurling me further down the aforementioned religion path, especially since I was placed in a church. But what do I find myself doing but teaching English in the very grade levels I had considered teaching before, and trying to use music to do so. I find myself directing the church choir and even starting a youth choir and arranging music for that. And I find myself teaching trumpet, piano, and drum-set lessons to young beginners (if that isn’t a godly sense of humor, I don’t know what is). My question here is, WHAT THE HECK?!? I guess I’ll wait and see!