But on the upswing, it’s mango season! 30 Rupees gets you a kilo of ripe mangoes, green and orange… This country has introduced me to guava (not my fave) and mangoes (fresh ones, at least. I had dried mangoes a lot from the Co-op in St. Peter!).

Yesterday evening was my kathak performance! Meg and Cole and I danced for nearly 2 hours, doing expressional dance and footwork. It was HOT HOT HOT, even though it was late at night when we finished (9:30) and we danced by the light of the moon for a while (when the electricity went away, as it often does). I felt pretty good about my performance. Having never studied dance before, remembering everything was a challenge but I did ok. I enjoyed performing for all my fellow students and some friends, and also my landlord and landlady, Dr. K. K. and Reenaji.

Hindi finals for second and third year are on Monday-Tuesday. I have many study dates for vocabulary (important new vocab words include: attractive, for person to be drenched in sweat, and to compare x to y. I leave for Delhi on Thursday, and am in the process of packing already.

My fellow students think I’m the one “most likely never to return to India”, but I don’t think that’s accurate. Of course, you’d have to pay me quite a lot to live in Benares again, but coming back to India is in the cards, sure! I’d like to study Hindi more and look around more at Rajasthan, return to Darjeeling, and explore the South.

Hope you’re doing well in your cooler part of the world. I’ll just try to stay hydrated and get home in one piece. See you soon!

• 120 Rs. — a dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in Varanasi, including a banana yogurt drink, fruit salad, and tuna fish pasta
• ” — also for a pedicure, which takes about a half hour and includes scrubbing, foot massage, and paint
• 15 Rs. — a ride by cycle rickshaw to the shopping district from the southern area where I live
• 350 Rs. — a ready-made salwar kameez suit, colored, designed, sequined or dyed to your liking, tailor-fit, including trousers, long top, and scarf
• 10 Rs. — a candy bar
• 50 Rs. — a liter of petrol for the scooters which many of my friends have
• 10 Rs. — a kilogram of tomatoes; all raw veggies are soooo cheap here, also fruit. Grapes, papaya, apples, guava and pomegranates are all staples. Mango season will start in May-June unfortunately… Veggies, while cheap, are time consuming to consume: once bought, they must be soaked in water with iodine for a minimum of 20 minutes (more if they have lots of creases, like cauliflower or spinach) before being rinsed in filtered, boiled water…
• 20 Rs. — a fresh coconut, sold on carts on the side of the road. The man hacks it open, sticks in a straw, and voila, fresh coconut milk! The only roadside food I’d dare to try, the other things needing glasses which could be dirty…
• 8000 Rs. — rent for one month, split three ways with roommates Daniel and Meg for our three bedroom, three bathroom, large foyer, large kitchen, HUGE living room, tiny laundry room, and two balcony apartment.

In short, India is a cheap place to live. Getting here from the US might not be so cheap (at least 800 USD one way), but I estimate I’ve spent a fraction of what I’d spend in the US for basic living!

It’s Saturday today, and I’ll attend a classical music concert tonight, which will be singing I think. I enjoy concerts, but usually get pretty bored after about half an hour. As my dad would say, Indian classical musicians just miss lots of really great opportunities to stop!

I could say the same thing about my own art, Kathak dance, which, to someone unfamiliar with the intricacies of the footwork, could look basically like I’m doing the SAME thing for about forty-five minutes! Even I sometimes get mixed up and start doing another part in the middle of another. The performance is the 22, and next Tuesday we’ll start practicing with the accompanying professional musicians. Monday we’ll go to the fabric store to buy georgette fabric for our costumes. It needs to be the right kind of fabric so it can swirl correctly when we spin.

Hope all’s well in Minnesota!

From the roof, I peeked over the edge and watched as the boys milled around, knocking on the gate and shouting. The man who lives above us in the house, Daniel, has been in Varanasi for about 8 years. He says that this part of Holi reminds him of the Nazis rounding up Jews in the ghetto. Indeed, it did resemble Schindler’s List… I felt very scared, hoping the bigger boys wouldn’t climb over the fence and steal our shoes or trash our bikes.

The following morning, the neighborhood children were out in a group, this time armed with bottles and scoops filled with dyed water. They wanted us to join, and after lots of pleading they convinced us to come. They supplied us with some powder so we too could have soemthing to pour on them, and then three of us ran screaming into the street, throwing water around, drenching each other, and turning into what looked to me like the Jazz Singer, the face and hands and arms a bluish black.

I went back inside after about five or ten minutes, while my friends stayed out for nearly a half hour. Both are still pink, after a few dozen showers. It was great fun, this part of Holi.

That afternoon, I ventured out again on a scooter with Jo. I wanted to get some macaroni for lunch, but NOTHING was open. It was a ghost town, just a few people walking along. A drunk guy staggered down the main street, buck naked, but all others seemed normal. We finally found an open store, and I got some snacks to last through the day.

We played a long game of Scrabble and then joined the legions who were out, wearing brand spanking new clothes, paying calls to neighbors, family members and friends. It felt funny to wear a salwar again, I’ve fallen out of the habit of wearing Indian style clothes over the past weeks. Those darn dupattas are sooooo bothersome.

So there are some freaky parts of Holi which must be avoided (I did not attend a party on Holi night because of the reputation of people being harrassed) but others are great fun, like the paint fight and paying calls to friends. We were fed sweets for dinner last night, and we were painted again with dry tikka powder by dozens of little neighbors.

In other news, my thesis is officially done! I burned it onto a disc so I needn’t worry about floppy discs conking out. What a great accomplishment! I feel great, putting so much time and effort into this thing and then finally getting done with something I can be really proud of.

In a way, I think that is one of the main reasons why my study abroad experience is so great. Sure, Varanasi is the hardest place to live I’ve ever been to, and I don’t plan on ever spending considerable time here again. I’d surely return to show it to someone close to me who’d like to see India, but it’s definitely not a place that I’d choose to live.

The short-term bad parts are outweighed by the pride I feel at doing my undergraduate thesis here, despite all the setbacks, as well as lots of new things I learned about the third world and India.

When I hear about people studying abroad in cities with McDonald’s or places where they haven’t gotten smoker’s cough just by breathing toxic air, I feel both insanely jealous and hard core. India IS a hard-core country, somewhere that tests you in many ways. Physically and mentally, India has brought me to new lows and highs. I don’t know if I LOVE India or HATE it. I love parts, I hate parts.

Hope you’re doing well in your cooler (temperature-wise) part of the world. Namaste!

Lucknow is a step up from Varanasi, with streets that resemble Delhi’s (wide, lots more cars than rickshaws, clean), many well-maintained gardens, and not so many people hassling you all the time.

We enjoyed Western style food in the western style Mall, watched Finding Neverland, ate Baskin Robbins ice cream and watched cable TV in our air conditioned hotel rooms.

We saw some beautiful old buildings from the Mughal era and British era, and I especially enjoyed running in the labyrinthe in the Imambara, a replica building and mosque of one in Iran and Iraq.

However, I did NOT enjoy being sexually assaulted for the first time in my life. I didn’t let him get away with it; I ran after him and pushed him as hard as I could and send him running for his life down the street. It was an AWFUL experience, one that I thought I was safe from since I was with four guys at the time. You just never know…

What a weekend. Now it’s back to the grindstone. Our group is stressed out due to the deadlines looming. The three computers which regularly break down are being used all the time. Due to their faultiness, I keep four or five back-up discs of my paper.

In Celsius, it’s 38 degrees today. What is that in Fahrenheit? Uh… ok so I cheated and looked it up. It’s 100 degrees! AHHHH!! 100 degrees, and no beach in sight, except of course for the Ganges…. I wish I could swim in it! No fair.

Holi is coming up on Saturday, which is a holiday where the following things happen:

1. big bonfires are lit in the middle of the streets
2. bhang lassis are consumed (read: yoghurt drinks flavored with what else but marijuana!) by the general populace
3. colored powder is thrown with zeal at all who show themselves in public. Some powders are poisonous, I’ve heard that many children are blinded each year from getting it in their eyes… it’s a leveling of the society, in a way, where swearing is allowed and insults are used.

Thus, I plan to stay inside for the first half of the day, in order to not be harassed more than usual. By the evening I think it’ll be safe to venture out to see how people look.

In short, I am working hard, feeling quite hot, and trying to plan my spring break, which will hopefully bring me into the Himalayas to enjoy some coolness.

Namaste!

Inside the grouds were dilapidated collections of clothing, weapons, household items, and animals. We got to grimace at the result of taxidermy gone wrong– a crocodile killed by one of the old Maharajahs, stuffed but disintegrating rapidly. Its legs weren’t even attached to his torso anymore, he looked like one breath could make the dust that was holding him together evaporate.

There were pictures from early 20th century when the Belgian royal family visited the royal family of Benares. Like Europe, the royal families are still around in India but hold no political power.

Health update: I’m actually doing pretty good these days. The usual, ie Delhi-belly, but otherwise I’m fine. Amen to that.

Seven weeks to go until I fly home from New Delhi via Istanbul to Copenhagen (from where I’ll take the train to our home in southern Sweden). Hard to believe how much will happen during these weeks. I’ll finish my giant research project, perform kathak, and take all sorts of Hindi finals in late April. We have a spring break coming up, right around my birthday, over which I am planning to take a train up to Uttaranchal, a little Himalayan state which was carved out of Uttar Pradesh a few years ago. I want to check out Haridwar and perhaps Dehra Dun or the Corbett Tiger Reserve. Rahr.

My advisor and I will meet this week to discuss my thesis thus far. Hopefully he’ll have some good advice for editing. I’ve been reading since I gave the first draft to him, and have more to add myself.

Weather-wise, Varanasi has been normal (sunny and HOT), except for a huge deluge, monsoon-like, of last Thursday or so. Gucci, our street dog, had three pups when I was in Delhi and they were saved from their muddy nest by two guys from the Wisconsin program. They are now safely on our porch, looking like fat brown guinea pigs. I feed Gucci extra chapati every day.

Namaste!

I visited the Swedish Embassy to pick up my replacement passport, and enjoyed strolling down the wide shady streets of Chanakyapuri.

I had the unpleasant experience of having to scream my lungs out at a rickshaw driver who tried to rip me off. We had agreed on 70 rupees, which is of course overpriced since I’m a foreigner, but I reconcile myself to that. But then he tried to short change me, and I yelled and yelled. I started with the most formal form, ‘aap,’ of “Give me my money”, but at the end I was using the most informal form, the ‘tum’ form. I created a scene, it was not fun. I mean, I tip well when people deserve it. I want to support people trying to make a living. But when they are rude and try to rip me off, I don’t want to leave even a few rupees with them! Ugh.

I met a really interesting man, Yuksel, who’s Turkish and doing research here in Delhi. He’s settled in Seattle and is doing a phd on comparative personal law systems in Egypt, Israel and India. He thinks Jewish women in Israel have it the worst, since their access to divorce is so limited. It was fascinating to hear a bit about his work, and it infused me with a new sense of excitement about my own research. In a way, even after writing my 60 page first draft, I feel like I know nothing about my subject. Emigration, the economic reforms, unemployment, foreign investments… there’s so much to learn about! I bought a new book today, about geopolitics and globalization. It seems to have lots of relevant chapters for me.

Mike and I head back to Benares tomorrow evening on the night train, to arrive hopefully just before my Hindi class starts on Wednesday morning. It’s been a lovely break from little town Varanasi. I’m quite exhausted, but happy and content with my mini-break to Delhi.

Since I don’t have my passport and visa arranged yet (I had my pass stolen last fall when I was traveling on fall break, and am STILL paying for my carelessness!), I was refused accomodation at a guesthouse in Connaught Place. So, we’re staying at the AMerican Institute of Indian Studies, in Defense Colony in south Delhi. It’s a tad expensive (1000 Rs. a night), but there’s a great cook, Ashok, who practically demanded that we have dinner here tonight so he can go get us some good mutton and fresh veggies from the market and have something to do. And there’s great IKEA-esque furniture, internet, hot water (I got to take a shower! Yeeha! at home, I have cold bucket showers…) and TV!

Mike and I are headed to a shopping mall and English movie, followed by the National Museum of Modern Art today. It’s a scorcher already!

On Thursday, the day I normally have off during the week, my friend Jo and her friend Phil, along with Xoria and Raj, and Golu and I headed out of Benares for a daytrip to Siddinath Waterfall. It’s the same waterfall I went to last autumn, and this time it wasn’t crowded at all, only crowded with some schoolkids on a fieldtrip. The lagoon was COOOOLD to swim in, but felt great after the hot sun. We had a picnic, played in the water and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Monkeys charged me on the way to our car to go home, when I held all our trash. It wasn’t my fault I littered all over– when two great big male monkeys are running at you, you throw what they want! I freaked out a bit, but luckily wasn’t hurt at all.

Will send an update soon! Namaste!

Even as I find myself fantasizing about my return home, my first time in a Cub Foods with a big grocery cart, my being a normal-looking individual who does not warrant cat calls and harrassment just becasue of the color of my skin, my drinking tap water and driving a car…. Even as I acknowledge that these things will be great to return to, I know that I’ll need a lot of time wrapping up things here before I can go back home and function again. I’ve worked hard this year at things– kathak dance, Hindi, trying to do fieldwork research with minimal guidance– and want to finish them satisfactorily before leaving.

I KNOW that I’ll get sick again, but I’ve reconciled myself to that and I’ll focus on staying healthy and getting work done while I am healthy.

2. Clock-watching: How long can these people go? Saraswati Puja, last weekend. A holiday celebrating Saraswati, goddess of learning and music, for which our program hired a pandit (priest) to perform puja (worship service) in our program house. I wore a light yellow T-shirt, which is Saraswati’s favorite color, and put my World Atlas on the pile of things to be blessed by Saraswati. Since the diasporic Indians (about which I’m doing my fieldwork project) go to places all over the world, I chose my atlas as something to be blessed in conjuction with my project. Others had their Hindi notebooks blessed, or their musical instruments, and one guy even had a book on Islam (his project’s topic) blessed (which is probably sacreligious). Chants were chanted, fruit, flame, incense, sweets, money, water, and flowers offered to the murti (idol statue). It lasted nearly 2 1/2 hours.

Also, a sitar-Indian guitar concert last week. The audience was mainly videshis, (foreigners) and I felt a little strange to be in the company of sooo many white people! I just wasn’t used to it. The rag was beautiful, a duet, but lasted a grand total of…. 2 hours and 45 minutes!

It’s getting HOT here these days. Today was strangely cloudy and cool, with a strong breeze, so I biked around the University campus and took some pictures of some of the buildings. I enjoyed smelling the good green grass smell there, something I really miss on most days. Now I’m off to interview a returned expatriot who lived and studied in England.

Last week I interviewed a pandit about his ideas of globalization and Hinduism.

I also recently got back some surveys of students at a private college in Varanasi. Lots of work to do, but soon I hope to have my rough draft done of my paper!

Phir Milenge (See you soon!)

I interviewed the district secretary of the Communist party yesterday as part of my fieldwork research. I went with an assistant of the program to the party office, which is quite far away from our program house.

We left, according to Indian time, twenty minutes later than the meeting was supposed to start. Then, of course, were further delayed due to the crossing of the road by the water buffalo. Made me a little nostalgic for the days when I’d be late every day for my kathak lesson due to those things!

We finally arrived, then were ushered up a very dark stairway, through someone’s house where a guy was bathing in the courtyard (”is the Communist party office up this way?” “of course! just through that hall!” the man answered as he sloshed his back with a cup of water) and into this large room filled with ancient paper bundles and dusty wardrobes.

Now, ALL bureaucratic offices in India look this way. Post offices, stores, any kind of office. It seems that a man, in 1967, locked that cabinet in the corner and no one has bothered to open it since then. I doubt if anyone has the key…

And, as I asked the official my questions regarding his family, philosophy and party’s agenda regarding emigration from India, my eyes looked up a few times. Down from the wall stared Marx. And to his left? None other than Stalin!

Two weeks ago, I spent a Sunday with my friend Jo and two religion professors from the US who are doing research in Sarnath. They came to Varanasi for the day, and we acted as their guides.

Being able to walk along the ghats as if I were a tourist was great, something I have wanted to do since last fall! Now, it may seem silly to you, but living in this place for so long, I don’t feel like a tourist at all anymore. Taking the time to stroll along the river and sip chai was something I do not think I can afford to do most of the time, since I have so much work to do. There’s fieldwork notes to take! Books on the economy to read! Grammar constructions to memorize and practice!

But on that Sunday I learned a lot about Varanasi. Being guide for a religion professor is like getting mini-lectures about Hanuman, Ganesh and ‘idol worship’– something when you ask Westerners about, they think is strange and has nothing to do with their own lives. When, in reality, there are many parallels between Hinduism and our, say, idea of Santa Claus.

Steve has developed a wonderful theory about Santa. Do we leave offerings for him? (milk and cookies) Do we think of him as a symbol of some eternal truth? (compassion and generosity, warmth and health (he does wear red and come from the chimney in the cold of winter!)) and do we receive from him ‘darshan’ and ‘prasad’, or blessings? (stocking stuffers!) Isn’t that fun to think about? Makes Hinduism seem quite easy to understand, and important.

We met an Untouchable whose family runs one of the burning ghats in Varanasi. There were about three bodies being burned that day, all of them wrapped in bright yellow clothes and covered in flowers. No women were allowed to come to a loved one’s cremation, because, he said, they would cry, and this was a happy time when the person was being released from their life.

We saw the place where the eternal flame (even older than the Olympic eternal flame I think), the one that Lord Shiva gave to the Untouchables (those who oversee cremation) at the beginning of time. It wasn’t a big flame, with some coals. Shiva’s tridents were sticking out of the ashes as though he were still watching over them.

The untouchables who run Varanasi’s burning ghats are quite wealthy, since it is considered very auspicious to die in Varanasi. That makes for a fascinating social dynamic, since traditionally the Untouchables have been the poorest caste.

On a lighter note, we’ve been popularizing the sport of frisbee throwing around the University campus here! Tonight I’ll attend an engagement ceremony, which should be fun.

Oh! And Happy Republic Day!

I interviewed the district secretary of the Communist party yesterday as part of my fieldwork research. I went with an assistant of the program to the party office, which is quite far away from our program house.

We left, according to Indian time, twenty minutes later than the meeting was supposed to start. Then, of course, were further delayed due to the crossing of the road by the water buffalo. Made me a little nostalgic for the days when I’d be late every day for my kathak lesson due to those things!

We finally arrived, then were ushered up a very dark stairway, through someone’s house where a guy was bathing in the courtyard (”is the Communist party office up this way?” “of course! just through that hall!” the man answered as he sloshed his back with a cup of water) and into this large room filled with ancient paper bundles and dusty wardrobes.

Now, ALL bureaucratic offices in India look this way. Post offices, stores, any kind of office. It seems that a man, in 1967, locked that cabinet in the corner and no one has bothered to open it since then. I doubt if anyone has the key…

And, as I asked the official my questions regarding his family, philosophy and party’s agenda regarding emigration from India, my eyes looked up a few times. Down from the wall stared Marx. And to his left? None other than Stalin!

Two weeks ago, I spent a Sunday with my friend Jo and two religion professors from the US who are doing research in Sarnath. They came to Varanasi for the day, and we acted as their guides.

Being able to walk along the ghats as if I were a tourist was great, something I have wanted to do since last fall! Now, it may seem silly to you, but living in this place for so long, I don’t feel like a tourist at all anymore. Taking the time to stroll along the river and sip chai was something I do not think I can afford to do most of the time, since I have so much work to do. There’s fieldwork notes to take! Books on the economy to read! Grammar constructions to memorize and practice!

But on that Sunday I learned a lot about Varanasi. Being guide for a religion professor is like getting mini-lectures about Hanuman, Ganesh and ‘idol worship’– something when you ask Westerners about, they think is strange and has nothing to do with their own lives. When, in reality, there are many parallels between Hinduism and our, say, idea of Santa Claus.

Steve has developed a wonderful theory about Santa. Do we leave offerings for him? (milk and cookies) Do we think of him as a symbol of some eternal truth? (compassion and generosity, warmth and health (he does wear red and come from the chimney in the cold of winter!)) and do we receive from him ‘darshan’ and ‘prasad’, or blessings? (stocking stuffers!) Isn’t that fun to think about? Makes Hinduism seem quite easy to understand, and important.

We met an Untouchable whose family runs one of the burning ghats in Varanasi. There were about three bodies being burned that day, all of them wrapped in bright yellow clothes and covered in flowers. No women were allowed to come to a loved one’s cremation, because, he said, they would cry, and this was a happy time when the person was being released from their life.

We saw the place where the eternal flame (even older than the Olympic eternal flame I think), the one that Lord Shiva gave to the Untouchables (those who oversee cremation) at the beginning of time. It wasn’t a big flame, with some coals. Shiva’s tridents were sticking out of the ashes as though he were still watching over them.

The untouchables who run Varanasi’s burning ghats are quite wealthy, since it is considered very auspicious to die in Varanasi. That makes for a fascinating social dynamic, since traditionally the Untouchables have been the poorest caste.

On a lighter note, we’ve been popularizing the sport of frisbee throwing around the University campus here! Tonight I’ll attend an engagement ceremony, which should be fun.

Oh! And Happy Republic Day!